funny instagram captions for your major life events
I think about funny Instagram captions a lot, something I'm sure I'll be thrilled that I did when I'm on my deathbed. I know we are three seconds away from this being cringe or millennial behavior slash, it maybe already is. I think that's fine. I'm not trying to be 19. I honestly can't wait to be 40 so I have an excuse for my personality and behavior.
“You have your whole life to have a career, but you only have one chance to be a young, hot mom.”
Cerie says this on 30 Rock, and I have long thought it would be the perfect caption for a pregnancy announcement. Funnier if you are not a particularly young mom, like if you are 45 and pregnant I think this would be an excellent caption.
2. “Marriage, Lincoln? I'm only 27. What am I, a child bride?”
Very funny caption for your engagement post, regardless of your age. It would make me heartily chuckle.
Something about Jenny from the Block for your graduation post
I don't have anything formulated here, but I love Jenny from the Block so much and think about it all the time. “Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got" is just funny to me because you just graduated and I know you are broke.
Only Judge Judy Can Judge me
I wanted to wear a t-shirt that said this to my American University graduation, because Judge Judy went to AU Law (hilariously) and I thought it would be a real riot. Then I dropped out of AU for three years and when I reluctantly returned and graduated after a semester of zoom school, graduation was cancelled due to COVID and I felt too old and embarrassed to care. Please take and use this fantastic idea for your AU graduation. To redeem my failure to use this great idea, I am considering handmaking a t shirt for my BU graduation that says “Julianne Moore went to Boston University and so did I,” taking opinions on this choice in the comments.
5. Several ideas for your law school graduation post
I feel like law school has so much potential because the law is funny, conceptually, and also there have been so many TV shows about lawyers and TV quotes are really where my caption game thrives. Some ideas:
“Too good to be legal”
“Consult my lawyer,” but you’re the lawyer. Is this anything? I actually think this written on a baby onesie makes a great pregnancy announcement, if you are the kind of person who is super into being a lawyer to the point where it is one of the most recognizable things about you.
“Fairly legal” — This is a TV show name, but also just a funny little turn of phrase.
“Raising the Bar” — Get it? Because you’re taking the bar? What a riot.
“Night Court” has potential. There is of course the whole 30 Rock subplot (“Court? At night? I’m already laughing!” ). I’m gonna let you take this where it needs to go.
“Business slut” is multi use. Did you graduate? Did you get a new job? Did you start a business? Here you go.
That Dykes to Watch Out For panel where Clarice says “Did she seem weird to you?” and Mo says “No weirder than any lesbian who wants to get married,” but posted in lieu of a photo of you getting lesbian engaged
That’s all I have for you. Please leave your suggestions in the comments.
Your Caillean quote of the day is “Pitbull could write Romeo and Juliet, but Shakespeare couldn’t write Hotel Room Service.” Stream Pitbull to support a true bard.
xoxo,
evt